NEWS FROM THE ASYLUM - CHEER UP!

A lady walks into a high class Jewelry shop. She browses around, 
spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. 
As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks 
wind. 

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has 
noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't 
pop up right now. 

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form 
of a salesman standing right behind her. 

Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, 
the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam. 
How may we help you today?" 

Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may just not have 
been there at the time of her little 'accident', she asks, "Sir, 
what is the price of this lovely bracelet?" 

He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going 
to sh*t yourself when I tell you the price."